Why your newborn doesn’t sleep through the night (and why that’s okay)

Hi, I’m Kath a newborn photographer who has photographed over 3,500 babies and mum of three. Having breastfed all my children, I've experienced the challenges of sleepless nights and the fog of early newborn days. As a neurodivergent parent, I understand the importance of rest and routine for families.

If you're awake at 2am, baby in arms, feeling overwhelmed and questioning why sleep seems elusive, you're not alone.

This phase is challenging, but it's a normal part of early parenthood.

You’re not doing anything wrong.

Your baby is not “broken"

What you’re experiencing is actually completely normal.

What’s Normal for Newborn Sleep?

One of the biggest myths new parents are told is that babies should “sleep through the night”

The truth? Newborns aren’t designed for long stretches of sleep.

• Newborns have small stomachs, requiring feedings every 2–3 hours to support their rapid growth

• Newborns lack a developed circadian rhythm, leading to irregular sleep patterns that typically stabilise over time

• Waking frequently is part of their survival.

• It’s how they grow, feed, and stay close to you.

So if your baby is waking often, you’re not failing.

You’re parenting a very normal newborn

Why Silence Can Feel Scary to Babies?

One of the things I’ve learned (both as a mum and from years of photographing babies) is that babies don’t actually like silence.

Think about it, inside the womb they heard constant noise.

Your heartbeat, blood whooshing, digestion, your voice. Silence is strange to them.

That’s why white noise can be such a powerful tool.

Tip: White noise machines should be kept at a safe volume (about the sound of a running shower) and not placed directly next to baby’s head.

Many parents find it helps babies settle faster because it mimics the comfort of the womb. This is also what I use during a newborn session.

Reading Your Baby’s Cues

Over the years I’ve been photographing newborns, I've spent a lot of time watching them.

Babies tell us so much with their body language if we slow down enough to see it.

• Tired cues: staring off, jerky movements, rubbing eyes, little grimaces.

• Hungry cues- rooting, turning head side to side, sucking on fists.

• Overtired- crying hard, arching back, difficult to settle.

The earlier we respond to these cues, the easier it is to soothe them.

Sometimes it’s not about “getting baby to sleep” but about understanding what they’re asking for.

Sometimes babies just want to suckle too, and babies suck for comfort so the use of a dummy comes in handy too.

What About “Nipple Confusion” with Dummies?

Another thing new parents often hear is that using a dummy too early will cause “nipple confusion” and stop your baby from breastfeeding properly.

From my own experience, I don’t really believe this.

All three of my children breastfed, and they all had dummies without any problems latching or feeding.

From working with thousands of newborns, I’ve also seen plenty of babies who happily take both the breast and a dummy with no issue at all.

I also advise to bring along a dummy for ease of settling during the session so that your baby is calmer during

pose transitioning (if you dont want to that's absolutely no problem!)

What sometimes happens is that babies can prefer sucking on a dummy if it’s always offered instead of the breast when they’re actually hungry.

That’s not confusion, that’s just their way of saying, “I’d rather have the easier option right now.”

Dummies can actually be really helpful

• They can soothe a baby who has a strong need to suck for comfort.

• They sometimes help babies settle to sleep.

• Research even shows they can reduce the risk of SIDS when used during sleep

Like everything in parenting, it’s about balance. If a dummy helps your baby (and gives you a moment to breathe), that’s absolutely fine.

Safe Sleep (and My Thoughts on Co-Sleeping)

Safety is always the most important thing.

The official guidelines are:

• Always place baby on their back.

• Use a firm, flat mattress.

• Keep the sleep space clear of pillows, toys, bumpers, and loose blankets.

That said let’s be real.

Many parents end up co-sleeping, even if they didn’t plan to.

I did.

For me, co-sleeping (done safely) created a beautiful bond and made breastfeeding easier.

If you do co-sleep, make sure,

• Baby has their own clear space in the bed.

• No duvets, pillows, or anything that could cover baby’s face.

• Never co-sleep if you’ve been drinking, smoking, or taking medication that makes you drowsy.

I’m not here to judge only to say you can make informed choices that work for your family.

Bottle Feeding

Whether you’re using formula, expressed breast milk, or a mix of both, bottle feeding is loving a way to nourish your baby.

What matters most is that your little one feels secure in your arms.

Tips for bottle feeding safely:

• Hold your baby close and make eye contact while feeding it’s not just about milk, it’s about connection.

• Try paced bottle feeding (where you hold the bottle more horizontally and give baby pauses).

• This mimics the rhythm of breastfeeding and helps prevent overfeeding.

• Holding baby on their side while bottle feeding can really help with wind.

• It keeps their body in a more natural position and often makes burping easier afterwards

• Night feeds can be shared between parents which can give mum an invaluable chance to rest.

Feeding is not just about nutrition, it’s about bonding and that bond is built in the cuddles, the eye contact, and the comfort you give your baby.

Helping With Wind

Wind is very common, and babies often need a little help to get it out after feeds. Here are some practical tips

• Burping positions- over the shoulder, sitting upright on your lap, or lying on their side across your lap can all work just see what your baby prefers.

• Gentle tummy rubs- rubbing in a clockwise circle can help move trapped air.

• Patience- some babies take longer than others, sometimes a short break during a feed, then resume, helps prevent discomfort.

• Movement- gently rocking or walking with your baby upright can also ease trapped wind.

Parents Need Rest Too

One of the things I feel so strongly about is supporting mums mental health.

Sleep deprivation is tough, and it can really take its toll.

Dads and partners, your role is huge here.

Even if you’re not feeding, you can,

• Bring baby to mum for night feeds.

• Do the burping and changing.

• Take baby for an hour in the morning so mum can get some uninterrupted rest.

If you’re bottle feeding partners can take turns with night feeds too.

Sharing the load doesn’t just give mum some much needed rest, it also helps dads build their own special bond with baby.

And let’s be honest, just because you’re back at work doesn’t mean you’re “off duty.”

Being a mum is also a full time job, one that runs 24/7 with no breaks, no sick days, and very little recognition.

Parenthood doesn’t begin when the baby starts sleeping through the night it begins now.

Supporting each other in these early weeks makes a massive difference to everyone’s wellbeing.

Final Thoughts

If your baby is waking every couple of hours, you are not failing you are meeting your baby’s needs exactly as nature intended.

This phase feels long when you’re in it, but it really is temporary.

So tonight, if you feel overwhelmed, remember-

• Frequent waking is normal.

• White noise can help.

• Co sleeping can be safe and beautiful if done mindfully.

• Your rest and wellbeing matter too.

• You’re not alone.

• You’re doing enough.

• Your baby is doing exactly what they should.

• If you're still really struggling reach out, there's help out there whether you need support with feeding, to talk, or for your mental health.

• You're never alone.

I’d love to hear from you, what’s been the hardest part of newborn sleep for you?

Share in the comments, because chances are another parent is feeling the same right now.

A sleepy yawn, newborns spend most of

their first weeks drifting in and out of rest